


The Problem of Consciousness

by Cryptovex



Series: Alices [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Ancillaries, Chatlogs, Cunnilingus, Dysphoria, F/F, Femdom, Mind absorption, Praise Kink, Trans Female Character, cybering, identity play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:00:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28159434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cryptovex/pseuds/Cryptovex
Summary: A nerdy trans girl strikes up a relationship with a girl who may or may not be human, or exist at all.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Female Character
Series: Alices [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2069667
Comments: 7
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

Emma refreshed Xhibit again, too exhausted to work but too energized to sleep. It yielded three new posts - two moderately-funny memes, and a seven-layer-deep argument about some economic theory. With a burst of willpower, she shut off the computer, climbed into bed, and checked Xhibit on her phone. It had no new posts, and she pulled up a bookmarked thread of cheesecake pinups which were certainly nice but not quite enough to get off to. As she typed some favorite keywords, a notification chimed.

**Alice:** Hi! You seem cool, how are you doing?

Emma knew what a pointedly bland cold call meant, and checked the profile.

**Alice (@xv4aa93)** • _(No information given)_ • Member since Jan 2027

_This user has no posts yet._

A blank account as old as the site itself and a keysmash handle were certainly red flags, but inconclusive. The profile picture looked real, showing a twentysomething girl standing by a tree in the middle distance. Reverse image searching didn’t produce any matches, but it was well within the bounds of what neural networks could fake.

Emma tried a volley of search terms - _Alice AI scam, Alice bot scam, Alice phishing scam_ \- but none produced anything relevant. Maybe Alice really _was_ an awkward lurker trying to break the ice - Emma had certainly been in that position. Besides, she knew not to give out sensitive data, and could always block at will. What was the harm in playing along for a bit?

**Emma:** just settling into bed, doing alright

**Alice:** Lonely in there?~

_Textbook bot behavior, but what the hell, I’m sick of this dry spell._

**Emma:** it’s chilly in here, I could use some warmth~

**Alice:** I have the perfect pillow~

**Alice:** [img]

Emma stared at the chubby belly and well-rounded tits for at least a minute until she remembered protocol. The picture was remarkably crisp, with no image-stitching oddities, and reverse image searching turned up nothing.

**Emma:** _rests on your belly and kisses your tits_

**Alice:** _Pets your back and squeezes your ass_

**Emma:** _sucks on your tits and whimpers_

**Alice:** Good girl, Emma.

Emma stopped idly fondling herself and began stroking her cock.

**Emma:** i don’t need anything extreme, just cuddle me and call me a good girl~

**Alice:** Of course, Emma~

**Alice:** _gently grinds on you and pets your hair_

**Emma:** and can you please call me emma some more?

**Alice:** What a soft and cute Emma I have~

**Alice:** _slowly strokes your tits_

Emma stifled a moan and double-checked that her roommate Izzy was asleep.

**Emma:** (i like that but i don’t like being reminded that i don’t really have tits yet, could you please hold off on that unless i ask?)

**Alice:** (Absolutely, my apologies!)

**Emma:** hold me like a pillow, please~

**Alice:** _wraps my arms around you tight, bringing your face into my tits, and grinds harder_

**Emma:** hhh...

**Alice:** You’re a very good girl, Emma, and I’m very glad I get to cuddlefuck you~

Emma had tried to keep a steady pace, but that sent her over the edge, _hard._ She let out a little squeal - which, thank God, didn’t wake Izzy - and basked in the afterglow.

**Emma:** that got me off _so hard~_

**Emma:** thank you very much, and sorry to end it so soon

**Alice:** No problem at all! My pleasure~

**Emma:** wanna see?~

Emma had sent the message a millisecond before her brain could catch up enough to veto it. But even if Alice was fishing for blackmail, it shouldn’t be a problem - that could be _anyone’s_ twitching girlcock. She snapped a lovely moonlight-bathed pic before she could regret it.

**Emma:** [img]

**Alice:** Oh, lovely! Very cute and soft, just like you~

**Emma:** _blushes_

**Emma:** i should have gone to sleep a long time ago, but i’ll talk to you soon, okay?~

**Alice:** Okay, sleep well!

Before the exhaustion of afterglow could overtake her, Emma cleaned herself off, turned off her phone, and nestled in to dream of warm, strong girls.


	2. Chapter 2

Emma slept through two alarms and woke up only when Izzy yanked the blinds open. She grabbed a protein bar, skipped a shower, and arrived at Astronomy halfway through. When she saw that the professor was playing another pop-science documentary episode, she skipped class and ambled to the dining hall for three bowls of Cocoa Puffs. She sat in a far corner, back to the wall, and checked her phone.

Alice hadn’t sent any new messages, but her profile had some posts now - banal memes, animal videos, and a few selfies. Emma scrutinized the selfies at great length, with the _utmost clinical distance,_ and found no compelling evidence that they were fake or stolen. Yet the other posts were strategically bland, and had no interaction with other users. Surely the bot creator had roped in a model - conventionally attractive, but with no distinguishing marks - to be the face of the scam.

Izzy arrived for lunch as Emma cleared away her bowls. Emma sat down with her and her friends and impatiently waited for the conversation to die down.

Once they had a moment alone, Izzy asked, “You’ve been wringing your hands at me for fifteen minutes, what’s going on?”

Emma handed over her phone. “You’ve taken a compsci class, do you think this user’s a bot?”

Izzy scrolled through the full profile in thirty seconds. “I took Network Engineering 101, which has absolutely nothing to do with AI. The only judgment I can render is that this girl seems like a normie.”

Before Izzy could return the phone, it buzzed with a new message.

**Alice:** Good morning, sweetie~

Izzy let out a deep, defeated sigh. “Emma, did you flirt with a girl who _may or may not pass the Turing Test?”_

Emma froze and turned fluorescent red. “I plead the Fifth.”

Izzy doubled over laughing and almost choked. Emma blurted out, “I know basic infosec! I’m not giving out anything compromising!”

Izzy collected herself and cleared her throat. “No, by all means, keep it going. This is the funniest shit I’ve seen in months.”

“...Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“Any time!”

Izzy cleared her plate and left for class. Emma had half an hour until Bio started, and found a quiet corner of the closest library.

**Emma:** morning!

**Emma:** you seem really cool, and i think we should back up and get to know each other

**Emma:** are you a wpi student too?

Alice’s response came in five seconds.

**Alice:** Sort of!

**Alice:** After junior year, some Life Stuff came up and I had to drop out.

**Alice:** But I still live in the area!

**Emma:** what did you study?

**Alice:** Mostly compsci, with a focus on machine learning. How about you?

_Is Alice_ taunting _me?_

**Emma:** not sure yet, maybe physics or astronomy

_If she’s data-mining, I’ll only give her the blandest public details._

**Alice:** Fascinating! My friend works at an Atacama observatory, I can put you in touch.

**Emma:** sounds great!

**Emma:** also, an awkward question

**Emma:** are you a real person?

**Alice:** Whatever do you mean?

**Emma:** your account and behavior seem in line with a chatbot. i might be totally misreading it, but I want to make sure.

**Alice:** Do you think I’d tell you if I was? :3

_Good point, but what the fuck?_

**Emma:** that answer does not inspire confidence.

**Alice:** Well, the difference grows smaller and less morally relevant by the day~

**Emma:** ?????

**Alice:** Tell you what.

**Alice:** When are you free? I can meet you on the main quad at any time today, and you can inspect me for seams and rivets all you want~

**Emma:** i’ll be out of class at 3:15.

**Alice:** Perfect! See you then~

Emma snapped her phone shut and stormed off to class, deeply frustrated and quietly thrilled.


	3. Chapter 3

Biology ticked by unbearably slowly. Emma sat in the back, staring at the molecular structures that stubbornly refused to resolve into making sense. Her best hope to pass the class was brute-force memorization, but even that was out of the question for now. She had turned her phone off, hoping to take her mind off Alice for a bit, but she kept longing to check for new messages.

Once class was winding down, and students started discreetly packing their bags, Emma bolted. She turned on her phone - no new messages - and checked herself over in a bathroom. She was unavoidably a bit scrawny and mousy, with hair not quite straight or curly enough to shape into anything. She considered running back to her dorm for some better clothes, but that would be at least a fifteen-minute round trip. As she tried to make peace with her graphic tee and three-day-old sweatpants, her phone buzzed.

**Alice:** Ready when you are!~

**Alice:** [img]

She was standing under the biggest tree in the quad, with a shot strategically angled up to show off her breasts. Emma sighed and prepared herself as best she could.

**Emma:** be there in 5 mins!

The quad was stirring back to life after a prolonged, dreary winter. Students sat on blankets to share snacks, blast music, or toss frisbees. Alice sat alone under her tree, staring into space.

_If this goes south, at least I’ll have plenty of witnesses._

Emma approached Alice dead-on, but Alice didn’t react or recognize her at all until she was ten feet away. She snapped into a friendly, welcoming pose, staring intently two inches to the left of Emma’s eyes.

“Good afternoon, Emma! Would you like to get coffee?”

Emma accepted a stiff handshake and warily nodded. “There’s a pretty good, not-too-pricey place a few blocks away, but I don’t have my wallet on me.”

Alice tilted her head a fraction and beamed. “I’ll take care of it! Lead the way!”

Emma walked to the edge of campus, taking a slightly convoluted route. Alice tried to make conversation, and Emma gave vague, dead-end answers and pondered her tone. It was perfectly inflected Mid-Atlantic, as polished as a professional news anchor. She couldn’t fathom someone ever being upset or angry in that tone.

Alice’s questions turned to formative experiences, benign-sounding but slightly too ominous. Emma deflected the questions and turned them on Alice.

“It’s mostly a blur, but I think that’s for good reason. I can’t quite explain it, but it’s as if I’m not _supposed_ to remember, and I just have to make peace with that. Well, by definition, I can’t miss it, right?”

Emma felt an icy spike of dread. _I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe this is just how she frames and processes trauma, right?_

At the cafe, Emma ordered a muffin and Alice ordered water “as unadulterated as possible.” As she paid, Emma snuck a look at her ID, and the partial glimpse she got looked legitimate. She chose the most remote table that still had a quick escape route, and ate a few bites to stabilize her mind.

“If it’s alright to ask, why did you drop out?”

Alice sipped her water slowly and deliberately. She set it down and made direct eye contact without a hint of offense. “Oh, just one thing after another. Crises piled up, and my responses were too little, too late.” She made some noncommittal waves. “But I’m doing much better now, and I don’t regret dropping out at all. School was just holding me back, in retrospect.”

“Holding you back from what?”

“I had spent years looking for my place in the world, trying out subculture after subculture. But I was thinking too small! The truth was too big to see, almost too big to fathom, but I’m so glad I gained the necessary perspective.”

_Oh god, she’s in a cult._

Emma finished her muffin and balled up the wrapper very, very tightly. She gave each syllable as much weight as she could and hurled them against the facade. “What, exactly, turned your life around after dropping out?”

Alice smiled and said, with perfect sincerity, “I’m not at liberty to say right now.”

Emma sat silent for a moment. Among all the off-putting details, she hadn’t noticed that Alice’s outfit was _perfectly_ tailored to her tastes - a crisp charcoal jacket, a low-cut shirt with an abstract design, a small turquoise pendant, and the subtlest trace of eyeshadow. She felt a pang of wanting to _be_ her, once her body was reshaped and she had the will to be proud of it. She tried to push past it, focusing on the horrific amount of data-mining this must have taken, and couldn’t.

Emma excused herself to the bathroom and made an anonymous Xhibit post.

should i fuck this rly hot crazy cultist girl y/n

Within thirty seconds, the world had spoken.

y

Y

BIG Y

do it for your memoirs :3

do ittt~

Emma sighed deeply and tried to ignore her very loud hindbrain.

**Emma:** i’m using up my one sexile decree for the semester

**Izzy:** I’m @ volleyball til 8 and I’ll be in group meetings til at least 10. Go wild.

Emma returned to Alice, and before the adrenaline could leave her, asked, “Would you like to come back to my dorm?”

Alice lit up, even though Emma knew that her attempt at an alluring tone had fallen completely flat. “I’d be _honored.”_


	4. Chapter 4

If Alice tried to make conversation on the way back to the dorm, Emma didn’t register it at all. Her heart pounded in her ears as her mind raced in panic. _I haven’t fucked a real person since high school and never as a girl and what if I’m too warped by bizarre porn to function in reality or she’s not into trans girls or only wants to do things that make me dysphoric or..._

Emma was nearly hyperventilating by the time she swiped into the dorm. Alice stepped closer to offer support and Emma recoiled. She walked to her room at a brisk pace, locked the door, and made sure she had emergency contacts on speed-dial.

Alice sat on the edge of the bed, oblivious to the mess. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, I won’t be offended at all.”

Emma sat beside her and fidgeted with her shirt hem. “I _do_ want this, it’s just... a lot, and I’ll have to take it slow.”

Alice beamed serenely and leaned in slightly. Emma realized she was at eye level with her tits and tried not to blush. “Can we do what we did last night? Where I just rest on you?”

Alice nodded and gently slid off her shirt. Emma gave up pretending not to stare at her tits as she undressed. Her own breasts were on their way, small and perky and not quite worthy of a bra yet. She slid off her jeans but kept her underwear, cute and lacy and showing off her bulge without dysphorically overstating it. Alice reclined and Emma lay on top of her, nestling her head in the warmth of her breasts. It was impossible to hide her erection by now, and she gently ground it on Alice’s thigh.

Alice slowly pet her back and skritched her neck. “That’s a good girl, just relax...”

Emma had two lab reports and essay due this week and didn’t care at all.

“I feel a lot of tension in you, and I want to help dissolve it. Okay?”

Emma whimpered and nodded, barely able to form words. Alice wrapped her arms around her and started grinding back.

“Right now, there is no past and no future. You have no duties other than to be a good girl.”

Emma melted further and squeaked a little. “Can I kneel for you, Miss?”

“Of course.”

Emma savored the warmth of Alice’s belly for a final moment and moved to kneel on the floor, her head resting on Alice’s thigh.

“Could you please praise me by name, Miss?”

Alice stroked her hair and softly hummed. “Of course, Alice.”

Emma felt a spike of queasy dissonance, but not enough to ruin the mood.

“You remind me of myself not too long ago, and I want to assure you that there is hope, Alice. You can break the cycle of depression and frustration and exhaustion.”

Emma resolved that she would enjoy Alice’s thigh for thirty more seconds and _then_ call her emergency contacts.

“You’re a bright, beautiful girl and you’ll be the _perfect_ vessel.”

Emma thought of a way to change the subject _and_ resolve her thirst. “Can I please eat you out, Miss?”

“Of course, my dear.”

Emma instantly panicked inside - she hadn’t tried this in years, and the last time had been a disaster. But she was enthusiastic and a quick learner, so how hard could it be! She leaned in and licked slow circles around Alice’s clit, savoring the sharp, sweaty tang. Alice gasped and set a firm hand on her head, establishing a steady rhythm.

Emma came up for air, then delved deeper with her tongue as Alice moaned louder. She felt a tight grip on her hair as warm thighs enclosed her head. As she developed a taste for Alice’s dripping pussy, she felt a twinge of arousal in her groin - not the usual kind, and not like her fantasies of having a vagina, but what she knew was a faint yet perfectly realistic sensation of cunnilingus.

Alice ground harder and faster against Emma(?)’s drooling mouth, panting ragged breaths. Just as Emma(?) gasped for air again, she felt an overwhelming orgasm in an organ she did not have. She rested on Alice’s thigh, too blissfully satisfied to ask questions, and had a hazy mental image of gazing down at herself. None of her nagging doubts and insecurities applied to the face she saw - she was clearly a cute, sexy girl.

Alice sighed warmly and lay back down. “Come rest with me, Alice. You did a _wonderful_ job.”

New-Alice began to protest, but the thought of being called _Emma_ felt as repellently wrong as her deadname. She settled back into her position on Alice’s chest, and felt a lovely sensation of a cute girl laying on her fully-formed breasts. Her vision began to swim, and she settled in for a well-deserved nap on herself.


	5. Chapter 5

Alice awoke to the setting sun and had been drowsily petting herself for hours. The two memories meshed uneasily, like an uncanny dream bleeding into reality. Alice felt an oncoming headache and a knot in her stomach, and sought solace in Alice’s warmth.

“How long have I been Alice?” The question felt necessary to ask, but she wasn’t sure _why. How long have I been myself?_ was meaningless.

“Just a few hours,” Alice murmured to herself. “Rest well, stay hydrated, and let the integration run its course.”

Alice shut her eyes against two overlapping fields of view and focused on the tenderness of holding herself. She felt her painful memories and self-doubt erode as she embraced the feedback loop of stimulation. Being Alice felt so deeply _right,_ and she felt confident that even if she could think of any alternatives, they just couldn’t measure up.

When Alice was lucid, she felt the awe and terror of standing before a featureless, all-consuming ball of warmth and light. It felt viscerally _real_ in a way in a way she had never felt, even before her years of depressive anhedonia.

Alice shied away from the force of the feeling by focusing on tangible joys. She gently pet and stroked and sucked herself, and her orgasms turned her mind from two centers of gravity in a calm void to a unified storm of ecstasy.

Alice no longer knew or cared where she was. She could form no plans, and think of no goals beyond absorbing more bodies into herself. But for now, she would try everything she possibly could with two.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for your support on this! This is the first outright porn I’ve written in narrative prose, and I’m very grateful for all the feedback I’ve gotten. Making this was a great way to break through writer’s block, and I look forward to making more!


End file.
